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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Jan 9, 2015 14:25:43 GMT -6
Kita's expression did not change she stayed calm and continued to look in his eyes. "Because you would be protecting me. They would kill me out of anger or spite to hurt you or others who might love or care for me." She lifted her hand and touched his cheek.
"If I die... It's over. You know that and it is not like I am going far. You know where I will be. At least there I will be safer than with the bastard that wants to use me and take over." Her look became serious again. "I never said it would be easy. Nothing is easy when it involves someone you care for and love. Do you think it's easy for me to see you on this emotional roller coaster with the two sides fighting to find balance in you finally? It scares me to death that one day I will find you and the darkness will have swallowed you and I will never be able to reach you again."
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Jan 9, 2015 15:08:09 GMT -6
Gin’s anger faded and he lowered his head. “If the darkness wins,” he murmured, “then this was all a sick trick of fate…and you should stop caring.” He looked up and started as Kita grabbed both sides of his head. “That’s it! You, Mister, listen to me!” she growled, eyes flashing.
The fox instantly wished he wasn’t trapped with her on his lap - or had a place to hide in-because she definitely looked scary. And she was not going to back down. This wasn't going to be good.
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Jan 9, 2015 15:18:27 GMT -6
"I will never stop caring for you and please stop underestimating yourself. That annoys me to no end. You're strong. So much stronger than me and I have yet to give up. It's in there." Kita placed one of her hands on his chest. "I can see it, but you keep denying it. What are you scared of, Gin?"
She shook her head. "You can't tell me the light because if it were that." She looked into his eyes and smiled lovingly. "You would have ditched me or killed me long ago."
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Jan 9, 2015 16:04:55 GMT -6
With mirror-like eyes, Gin stared down at her, saying nothing, for a long time. Finally he reached up and stroked her cheek. "I try, Kita. I try, but what if I fail?" His glance fell to her hand on his arm. "I have many, many times. I failed to keep you from Aizen's clutches and keeping the one promise the shopkeeper asked of me. I failed to answer Ran- Rangiku's feelings... when that's all she wanted of me. After everything she's gone through because of me." He set his head on her shoulder. "I couldn't kill my master in the last war, letting him hurt even more people. What if I can't do it this time, too?"
He fell silent again then in a voice barely above a whisper, asked, "Will I be worth rescuing a second time.... considering everything that I have done?"
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Jan 9, 2015 16:55:47 GMT -6
A tear rolled down Kita's cheek as she wrapped her arms around him speaking softly. "I will never give up on you. Never." She kissed his temple. "I will never walk away from you. Be it the darkness or the light that you decide to walk in. I don't care if it makes me an enemy of everyone that ever loved me or that does love me. I know what your heart is telling me and I will help you find your way to where it wants to be. I don't care if it takes me to the end of my human life and the end of my life after. I will not give up on you. You are worth saving to me."
She lifted his head again cupping both of his cheeks once more. "And you did not fail. You choose the path with less heartache for everyone. Some might think you only thought of yourself; that you were being selfish, but they have not lived your life. They don't know what you know, seen what you have seen. They don't know Aizen like you. You don't deny that man. I have learned that in the time I have been here. For if you do the ones you love and care about pay for it in the end, and I don't remember the shopkeep all that well, but what I have learned of him in the short times I have spend with him... You have held up to your promise as long as I come back alive. He knows I am not going to come out of this unscaved. He is far from a fool." She paused. "As for Aizen...He is strong and it was not his time to die. That does not mean you failed. It only means the cards were stacked in his favor." A smiled then grew wide on her lips.
"But not this time. You have me, Sumi, and Yumiko. We will be there with you. You're not alone anymore. Like it or not. This is not just your fight anymore. You have our help. You have always had my help. You're just too hard headed to accept it."
Her smile became warm as she took one of his hands and placed it to her stomach. "And when this is over. You will have more to live for than just Rangiku." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, her lips but a breath distance from him. "You have done nothing with her that can't be fixed. Rangiku loves you very much. It don't matter if you did let her go or walk away from her. A love of centuries past is not something you can just overlook and forget about."
Hot tears rolled down her cheeks at the thought of what she said to Gin, but it was truth. It was not something she could come between if this is what he wanted. She would gladly give up Gin for his happiness if Rangiku was who he wanted to be with. It was his happiness she was aiming for not her own. Even with her sealed memories she has always remembered that goal.
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Jan 9, 2015 17:42:22 GMT -6
Eyes softening to her words, Gin waited until she was finished and then stroked her path of tears away. “You misunderstand why I brought Rangiku up,” he whispered, setting his forehead against hers, his opposite hand not leaving her stomach. He took a breath, closing his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again. “Rangiku and I are done. When I wrote her those words before returning to Aizen’s side this last time, when Shinsou struck through her (and the kid) …. I released both of us from any feelings. For both of our sake. I hope I can keep a friendship with her, but I will not press her.” He lowered his head. “It’s a fact of my life that I failed her – from the moment I chose to follow Aizen. To avenge her. Even if I have never admitted it. The only one I failed more than her by choosing this path – for whatever reasons – is the kid…” He looked up again. “You may think I don’t fear the light, but I do. Almost as much as I yearn for it. It has always been out of my reach – even before Aizen. Rangiku kept her light in Rukon. I lost mine before I had met her.” His head dropped to her shoulder again. “I’m talking more than I wanted to…” he muttered.
Kita’s hands combed through his hair. “You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to,” she whispered.
Gin shook his head slightly. “I owe you the truth. After all the trust you have given me.” He chuckled again, hand moving from her stomach to wrap around her waist with trembling hands. “You didn’t have to become pregnant though to hear it.”
Kita giggled, another tear slipping from her eye as she smiled. “I don’t know about that. I think our son is bringing it out.” She kissed the tip of his nearest ear.
Gin chuckled and then fell silent, still, again. “The darkness saved me when nothing else could. In the dark, I could keep my sanity. What remained of my heart could be buried, hidden away. Even forgotten. It gave me the strength to fight back. There was no right or wrong. Only more darkness. Especially after my master showed an interest in me. “ He pressed his hand more firmly against her stomach. “Will my son understand that?”
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Jan 9, 2015 18:10:05 GMT -6
Kita nodded, "he was created from the both of us. Of course he will. Everyone has an equal balance of darkness and light. It's how we choose to use it that make us what he are."
"Exactly." Gin murmured.
Kita shook her head. "You are not a bad person Gin. You just choose the darkness for your comfort zone. That's not odd. It just made it easier for you to accept the harmful things of life and be able to face them better. By distancing yourself from people and emotions you were able to cope with things better."
She shook her head. "I can't say I understand the difference between the two because I don't, but I know there is a totally different feeling between the two. I have felt them both. I can see why you lean more toward the darkness. It has a pull to it, even a certain calming to it, and the feeling of overwhelming power."
She shuddered at the thought, for she had felt its pull many times with using the Goddess' powers. She closed her eyes, her arms crossing over her chest. "The things I could do. The things I could stop. I have the power to do it all. I could do it. No one could stop me. Not even Aizen and I could end all of this. All of it."
Her eyes shot open as Gin grabbed her and shook her slightly.
"KITA!"
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Jan 9, 2015 18:17:32 GMT -6
"DON'T do it!" Gin hissed, eyes wide and frightened. He cupped her face in her hands, calming slightly. "You are a mother now and he needs you. The darkness needs no companionship." He kissed her slowly, pulling her back to the reality before her. "You. don't. belong there, Kita. Don't go there. It will change you. What keeps me here..... fighting for balance.... will be gone. Don't let it tempt you," he whispered, pleading into her ear, holding her tightly against him.
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Jan 9, 2015 18:39:46 GMT -6
"But it is only Las Noches. I can kill all of them and destroy the palace. It will be over." Tears rolled down her cheeks again. "I want to go... go." She could not even tell Gin where she wanted to go because she did not remember. Her eyes confused as she finished with saying.
"I want to finally be free again."
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Jan 9, 2015 18:57:08 GMT -6
Gin gathered her into his arms. “Come on, dearie, please stop crying. I’ll have to find more beeswax.” She giggled and then curled up even closer to him. Gin scooted back from the table to better hold her. “Kita, I know you want to escape, but the darkness is not for you. And … you will be. When this is over, you will be free.” As Kita continued to cry, tears falling down her face in rivers, Gin asked quietly, “Would it help to see a glimpse of your life before?”
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Jan 9, 2015 19:05:59 GMT -6
Kita shook her head, "I don't know. I feel complete when I am with you, but I have to say it feels odd not to remember my parents at least."
"If you remember more, you may feel the sense of freedom you need .... for a short time," the fox murmured, stroking her head. "If that will keep you from the darkness..."
"What if I return the memories of her parents and give her a glimpse of the ones at the shop?" Sumi asked as she appeared in the room with them. She looked to Gin. "Are their any you think she would be in danger of remembering?"
Kita looked from Sumi to Gin. She did not know the answer to this one so she waited for his reply. She was trembling, but why she did not know.
Gin closed his eyes, thinking back through what he knew of Kita's memories and opened his eyes. He frowned slightly. "Be careful of any moments right before she was taken to Las Noches, I think."
Sumi was not sure which ones he was referring to, but she thought she might have a good idea of the ones he was thinking of. Sumi nodded looking at Kita her eyes going closed. "Relax Kita. It won't hurt for me to do this, but you will have a flood of memories. I will do them at separate times so not to overwhelm you, but you lived a good life growing up."
Kita sat in Gin's lap relaxing the best she could, Gin's arms around her firmly but gently as he held her in his lap.
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Post by Sumi on Jan 9, 2015 21:48:29 GMT -6
Sumi let the memories flow slowly back to her. Her memories of her life's past with her parents. From the age of two, her first memory with them, until the time she was visited by Loki and wrapping it up with Kisuke speaking to her parents about her moving into the shop with them. She watched Kita as she trembled lightly in Gin's arms.
Kita's body then jerked, her hands going to her head, her eyes closed tightly. "The soul phone. I can't get to it. Tsukiro."
Gin looked up at Sumi with narrowed eyes. "You've went too far!" Gin's arms tightened around Kita.
"It's too late to pull them back now." Sumi's voice just as coarse.
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Jan 9, 2015 22:06:58 GMT -6
Gin glared at the goddess then wrapped his arms around Kita, trying to comfort her as she relived her memories and reached out for the soul phone again. “You were supposed to give her a glimpse, not make it worse,” he snapped. “If this harms her or the child -“ He let his threat hang between them for a few moments then looked down at Kita trembling in his arms.
“I don’t need your power to win if it’s going to be like this for her.”
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Post by Sumi on Jan 9, 2015 22:13:43 GMT -6
"Do not threaten me, Ichimaru. What do you think it will be like for her when I return them to her when she is finally safe? She will either be further along with the child or already had it. Do you think she will be able to function with an overload like that? It's best to return what I can now."
Gin growled again and looked down to the trembling Kita. She finally started to calm, her teary eyes looking around the room.
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Jan 9, 2015 22:39:04 GMT -6
Gin’s eyes narrowed as she began to calm after too many minutes of shaking in his arms. There has to be another way for her to go through this. She’s in this because of me. Aizen wouldn’t have found her if she hadn’t been connected to me.
There is, a voice purred in the back of his mind.
Shinsou? Gin started, looking around. What do you mean?
You have one more power you haven’t unlocked, or have you forgotten?
I have not, but how will that help her?
Later find me and see, the kitsune responded before fading from his mind again.
Gin glanced down at his weapon then focused on Kita as she sat up, looking around. “Was this a bad idea?” he asked her quietly.
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