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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Apr 16, 2023 22:19:51 GMT -6
Bleach Unrated: REBOOTEDCurrent Arc: Deep RenewalEpisode 348 "Saying Farewell": (Continued) No doubt she had a gravestone among the other soldiers of the Gotei, but Gin didn’t belong among those pillars. And neither did his bond with a certain deceased blonde. So instead of creating fights to pass the time, he used his wiles on unsuspecting merchants, relieving them of a few items, sometimes paying and sometimes not. Dried persimmons and lilies for his trip along with toys and candy for some raggedy kids along the way.
He always did have a soft spot for kids, and it made the next step easier to face.
The fact that he soon stood at the hill with the dead tree where Rangiku and he had talked about the future — before they had been dragged into anything.
And where he had confessed to killing the soul reapers for their uniform to get in the academy.
He squatted down on the hard ground, the lilies in the crook of his arm, as he pressed a hand to the cold dirt. "Ya know I should have threatened you to keep ya down here and away from my selfish desires of vengeance. Maybe ya would have gone hungry a few more times without me, but ya would have been resourceful enough to survive." He paused, a heavy undercurrent entering his voice. "After all, Aizen was already finished with ya."
If he had ended their friendship, promises, and trust.
But he couldn't. Not in the right way.
He set the bouquet of lilies down on the ground, propped up against the roots and sat down properly, pulling out the bag of persimmons. He took one out, scowled and let it fall to the ground uneaten, hand going to his face to hide his eyes.
"I know I donta deserve ta be here now, but just for a little while, let me pretend."
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Post by Urahara Kisuke on Apr 16, 2023 23:47:43 GMT -6
After leaving the Ninth Division, Kisuke followed Gin's reiatsu signature. It was weak, telling him that Gin was not looking for visitors. However, Kisuke could not just let the boy run amuck in the one place that breeds trouble. Especially with the mood Gin was in when he disappeared from the Ninth Division.
Appearing in a small clearing with a single dead tree, Kisuke stopped and looked on at a very troubled young man as he sat there with his face covered with one hand, and a bag of dried persimmons in the other. On the ground next to him rested a bouquet of lilies.
Gin had lived such a hard life with the path he decided to follow. He had given up and lost so much and his ability to keep everything buried as he did showed great strength, and greater stupidity.
Kisuke sighed and started a path forward, he took a seat on a protruding root on Gin's left. He did not think the boy was crying, but if he was, he would not blame him. This time around the war took someone very dear and very close to him. Rangiku.
"Want to talk about it?"
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Apr 17, 2023 2:11:25 GMT -6
He snorted. "It's not like talking will change anything," he hissed, voice hoarse.
He hadn't cried in a long, long time, and he didn't plan on starting now, but that didn't mean much. This war had dragged so much from him, despair and tears. It probably hadn't finished ripping new scars from him. He had even nearly given up... at least twice. This time.
"I knew long ago that if he dragged her there, she would die. That's why I ignored her in the Gotei and why I cut her down with my own blade this time. But in the end, that didn't matter. And now Kita will never forgive herself. And for what? She was dead when she stepped into that room and it was because of me, not her!"
Gin was vaguely aware that he hadn't spoken either of the girls' names. What a screwup, he was.
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Post by Urahara Kisuke on Apr 17, 2023 2:40:13 GMT -6
"What the hell is wrong with the two of you?" Kisuke growled at him.
"You've known I was a disaster even before you brought me back from the brink of death. Leave Kita out of this!" Gin hissed.
"I won't leave her out of it. Both of you want to blame yourselves for something neither of you could control. What Aizen did was on Aizen. Not you. Not her. You did nothing to warrant him killing Rangiku. Just like Kita did nothing to warrant this." Kisuke shot up from where he was sitting, putting himself over Gin. "None of what happened. What took place was neither of your faults."
His head shook, "I pounded this into you ages ago. Literally and figuratively. I thought we were past this, Gin. Stop blaming yourself for the shit Aizen has done." When Gin sneered at him Kisuke grabbed a handful of Gin's kimono and jerked him to his feet, putting them face to face.
"Cry for her, mourn her, scream at the top of your lungs, and miss the hell out of her. Even get revenge for her, if you must take it that far, but don't. Do NOT. Don't even blame yourself for her death." Kisuke growled in his face.
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Apr 17, 2023 3:13:48 GMT -6
"Then I guess you'll just have to pound it into me again!" Gin spat in his face. "Because right now I hate myself for the state Kita is in! And I hate that if I was in the same position again, I'd be just as helpless! Because I met a wonderful woman child that made me want more and cling to it instead of making vain wishes that will never come true! And it all began with me!" He swung a fist into Kisuke's gut, unable to let that man see this side of him again without another fight. He pushed him backwards.
Damn it, he really thought he controlled his malice by coming here and not staying in that room another moment. He owed his childhood friend some sort of farewell and forgiveness, even if he couldn't make it very articulate or even truthful. She'd earned that much from him. Instead, he wanted to spill more blood for her.
For both of them.
This was why he'd been locked up in a cell after he woke up in the first war. Before the trial. Not to protect him but as a precaution for others.
His mind flashed to that question from the reporter. Again.
"I went to Aizen and because of that, I could teach her to survive. That's it! But now that we're here, is it enough? Will she recover?" He looked out over the desolate space around them, ignoring the bag of persimmons that had fallen in their struggle. "My way of dealing with the war is not for her. It's tearing her apart even more now that's it's over."
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Post by Urahara Kisuke on Apr 17, 2023 3:35:31 GMT -6
His hand lifted removing his hat, his fingers from his other hand combing through his hair. "Kita is strong," Kisuke began causing Gin to whirl on him. His eyes were narrowed.
Kisuke pointed at Gin. "Because you made her that way. Yes, she went through hell just like you did, but you made it out. You made it out alive. Yes, there are wounds and scars the two of you need to heal, and maybe some of them will never heal, but you can't do it alone. You suffered together. You have to heal together. Neither of you will share your darkest scars with others, but you will with one another."
Kisuke stepped toward Gin. "If you're going to fall apart, do it together. Fall apart with someone that understands and can give you the support you need. Don't hide what is bothering you, share it with one another. You will find that your thinking of hurting one another by sharing it is wrong. Keeping it to yourself is only causing your wounds to fester and they--your wounds and you, will never heal."
He stepped closer to Gin, his hand lifting and clasping to his shoulder. "If you want to heal. If you want Kita to heal. Open up to her. Let her open up to you. She loves you and you love her. Help one another and get on that road to healing."
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Apr 17, 2023 17:38:16 GMT -6
“And watch another part of her die because she couldn’t stop it?” he demanded, though the bite from before had faded, the heaviness weighing on him again. He pushed the hand off.
Gin looked to the bouquet of lilies and then stooped to retrieve the bag of persimmons. “No one’s ever been so foolish and headstrong to protect me from Aizen, and she does it even when I warn her to stop. She doesn’t need to know everything. Ran- Rangiku trusted in the past, in a friendship between two forgotten souls.” He crushed another persimmon between his fingers. “Your daughter went through hell for me. Why would I put more of the burden on her? That's the last thing I should do." He fell silent for a few moments. "The kids need her."
He poured a few of the persimmons into his hand and then let them fall over the lilies.
"She doesn't need to do more for me."
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Post by Urahara Kisuke on Apr 17, 2023 18:18:09 GMT -6
Kisuke's hands lifted slightly, his head shaking in short bursts. Shrugging his shoulders he ask. "Stop what? Your torment for the things you have done? She will never be able to do that. Just like you will never be able to heal her for the things she has done."
"So your," Gin's hands lifted as he gestured in a quoting fashion, "heal one another talk was bullshit?"
"She can forgive you for the things you have done, and you the same for her, but it doesn’t stop the torment. You have to forgive yourself. If you can't do that this torment will follow you the rest of your life."
Kisuke put his hat back on, "also, not talking to her about what is bothering you. Will make her feel like your pushing her away. That she is not worthy of your trust that she will never repeat what you tell her." Kisuke sighed, "take it from an old fool that had to learn that the hard way, and trust me. You don't want to learn it that way. Because when it's all over and done with. The one thing you need the most will be gone, and we all know what that one thing is for you."
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Apr 17, 2023 18:58:48 GMT -6
Gin scowled at the shopkeeper for calling him out like that. It was one thing to know his greatest weakness. That didn’t mean he liked hearing others talk about it. To be honest, he preferred it when he was an enigma to the people around him, especially slippery men with striped hats and their family. He could weather the looks of scorn and contempt any day. But when people tried to understand him, and were sincere in their attempt, that unsettled him. Maybe it always would. Especially when they entrusted something precious to him.
He reached into the bag of persimmons again and this time put the fruit into his mouth, letting the sweetness mask the acidity of biting his tongue. Struggling with the warmth that flowed over the coldness
“You’re a fool,” he muttered as he chewed, "and idiots get fruity names."
"Then I suppose I need to get one for you," Kisuke responded, adjusting his hat.
Gin's scowl deepened. "Fruit don't suit me." He turned around to look over at the shacks of the Rukongai, still chewing on the persimmon.
"Will this work?" he asked, returning to the subject of why they had come.
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Post by Urahara Kisuke on Apr 17, 2023 19:22:17 GMT -6
Kisuke nodded, "I believe it will. As long as Ayumu does what she claims she will do." He adjusted his hat once more to better look at Gin. "There is alot Kita can tell her without telling her her darkest secrets, but I see Kita's sharing to be devastating on Ayumu. Even if Kita does leave out the worst of the worst information."
Kisuke shook his head and looked up at the afternoon sky. "The poor child has no clue of how cruel people can truly be." He looked over at Gin. "Ayumu is about to get a major eye opener. Plus," his attention went back to the sky.
"I am hoping when Kita hears what happened, out loud, she will realize none of this was her fault."
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Apr 20, 2023 21:12:14 GMT -6
Gin's urge to scoff over the shopkeeper's worry for the reporter faded at those words about Kita. The reporter had demanded a chance to tell the truth herself. She should have known the perils of such words in their society by now. However, Kita hadn’t been given that luxury. The little reporter had chosen her fiery course. Kita had been thrust on it for the greater good. And to protect him. When the reporter got her story, she would probably be satisfied, happy even. But when Kita started putting her ghosts down, would Kita see the clear sky again? Would he have done enough?
“Good,” he murmured, hiding his anxiety with a lackadaisical wave. “We’re in agreement.”
“If not, I can still beat sense into either of you, and I will,” Kisuke called over, raising his cane to poke at him. "It would be a good workout for my brother, too."
“Keep prodding me with that, and I will swipe and butcher your ugly hat,” Gin retorted, pushing said object away.
He ignored Kisuke's retort as he looked to the makeshift memorial for his friend one more time. He lowered his head. “I’ll be back, Ran, and next time, I'll speak to the runt.” He turned around.
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Post by Urahara Kisuke on Apr 20, 2023 23:22:59 GMT -6
"Ready to go home to our ladies?" Kisuke asked as he looked back over his shoulder at Gin. He faced forward after Gin nodded slowly. "I am sure they are ready to make their trip to Soul Society.""Hm," Gin hummed softly a final glance over his shoulder at the makeshift memorial."You should make a shrine for Rangiku in your home." Kisuke offered. Gin looked quickly Kisuke's direction, "What? You don't think so?""I didn't say that." Gin retorted as the two walked back toward the Seireitei."Then what? I mean it makes sense. To you she is family and your first love, Kita looks to her like a sister and she is Sojiro's Godmother. I also think it would help in your healing. Yours and Kita's, both."
Kisuke looked on at Gin as he walked next to him, the boy said nothing, and this worried Kisuke. Gin needed an outlet, and he just hope Gin picked the proper way to let it all out. If Gin doesn't, what he informed him of earlier could very much come to reality. Kisuke would hate to think that Kita would walk away from Gin after everything they had been through together, but Kita wanted to heal and was on the right road to do so. Gin on the other hand...
He was still bottling it up, refusing to talk about it, and in time it would eat him alive, and rip apart the woman he loves, and all because he thinks it will only hurt Kita worse.
Kisuke looked over at Gin once more. "Let's go home." With that Kisuke disappeared in a flash of shūnpo, Gin not far behind.--END RP-- "For Better or Worse"
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