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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Jun 16, 2024 21:43:20 GMT -6
Kita’s head shook, “I’m fine. I know there was a reason behind every time he has hurt me. I’m not going to hold that against him. After all these years, he has become an extension of me. And I have dangerously attached myself to him.” She sighed looking down at Kadaj, then back up at Juushiro. “I truly don’t think I could live without him, Juushiro. I have become that reliant on him being in my life.”
"Kita..." Juushiro started. He paused, considering how to address her codependency. He couldn't rush in healing Kita anymore than he could Yumiko, but Kita had asked him to help her find herself. Whatever direction she took, one answer was clear to him. She needed to trust herself more.
"Kita, I honestly think you should speak to Ichimaru about the past. I don't know what he will share with you, but please consider, can you truly build a new life if you don't say anything about what hurt you? If you don't come to terms with those things?"
"But I already have come to terms with them," she muttered.
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Post by Captain Juushiro Ukitake on Jun 16, 2024 22:22:54 GMT -6
"No, you haven't," the captain responded, tone gentle. "If you had, you wouldn't worry about them now. You wouldn't agonize on hurting Ichimaru and yourself more if they are discussed. This is a barrier you need to cross, even if it's painful, if you don't want the ghost of Las Noches to continue into your new life. And though I am worried about how attached you've become to him, and he to you, he's shown himself to be very different with you than he is with others. You have the ability to reach him and he was with you."
She shook her head again. He set a hand on her arm. "Kita, please consider this. Do you think he's forgotten? Or is it haunting him still?" Her head whipped around, eyes wide. "This isn't a step that will only help you. It will help him, too." He leaned over to hug her. "Consider that. And if it's difficult to begin, ask Kisuke how to begin. Even if you want to take a step back, he's still there for you. He's been there for your nightmares when Ichimaru was unable to."
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Jun 16, 2024 22:24:24 GMT -6
Kita hung her head looking at Kadaj. “I’m afraid to talk to him.”
“Afraid of what, Kita?”
“Of Gin seeing me as unfixable or feeling guilty about our past and what happened between us. Afraid that he will feel as if his being in my life will only remind me of all that and retreat from me?” A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked over at Juushiro. “I don’t want to lose him,” she sniffled, wiping away a tear. “but I guess if he did leave I would deserve it for what I did to Tsukiro 16 years ago.”
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Post by Captain Juushiro Ukitake on Jun 16, 2024 22:54:49 GMT -6
Juushiro’s eyes narrowed. “Kita, you didn’t deserve any of what happened to you. Everyone who knows the truth of what happened believes that.” His tone softened again as he wiped a tear away. “It’s unfortunate what happened to to you with Tsukiro, but you couldn’t control that.” She shook her head quickly but didn’t get to explain as Kadaj cried out. Juushiro waited for the child to calm. “Kita, you have to let it go. You can’t let it weigh on you. Sometimes relationships end whether or not we wish them to.”
“I hurt him.”
“You made a choice to protect yourself."
She shook her head again, another tear escaping.
"Kita, look at me please." She did. Juushiro wiped her tears away, holding her hand afterward. "You will destroy yourself considering the possibilities of the past. Talk about it, cry about it, but forgive yourself — if that is what you need to do. Do not let it crush you any longer. Do not let your healing stop for a dream that's gone. You'll hurt yourself and you risk the friendship that remains."
"It hurts..."
Juushiro nodded. "It will, for now. You never grieved for it before." He felt the presence of another and turned his head as Ichimaru re-entered the room. "But you're not alone."
Kita quickly looked away so Gin could not see that she had been crying, wiping away her tears. She said nothing more only let the two men talk while she tended to Kadaj and her emotions.
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Jun 16, 2024 23:23:50 GMT -6
Gin briefly explained the situation to the white-haired captain but most of his attention wasn't on his commentary afterwards. Having caught Kita turning away and wiping at her face, he knew she had been crying. He stayed silent, watching her, as Kadaj started cooing for her attention. His heart clenched as he wondered how much pain she would go through now. To heal. Was making her laugh and holding her enough? The white knight said something and Gin dismissed it, walking over to Kita and wrapping his arms around her. "Are we sticking around or going home, dearie?" "Home..." she murmured, a hoarse catch in her voice.
"Then," Gin kissed her forehead, "home is where we'll go."Always.... - END RP - "Time To Share"
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