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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Nov 4, 2014 22:56:17 GMT -6
Yes, I know. You're all probably thinking, "Oh, shit. What's this brat doing now. -_-" " But don't worry! This time it is worth your while!
Since everyone seemed to enjoy the "Bug List" I scrounged up from Bleach Lists on Tumblr (see SSLN News), I decided to do my own segment on... well, the title says everything.
Most of the stuff will probably be from Bleach Lists. And, yes, they all are just as funny, if not funnier than Grimmjow punching himself in the face.
RPer: *snickers*
Tsukiro: HUSH! *turns back*
And there may also be a couple funny pieces done by yours truly.
So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh so hard you'll piss yourself.... Not that I would know....
RPer: *snickers again* Don't lie. Lying is bad.
Tsukiro: *roars and chases after her* That's it! No more RPer!
RPer:*runs away laughing madly*
Enjoy~
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Nov 4, 2014 23:31:15 GMT -6
Yes, ladies and gentlemen (and tiny small children everywhere (namely Nel and Yachiru)), it is the moment you have all been waiting for!
Rper: Which hasn't really been all that long. Only like ten min--
Tsukiro: *duct tapes her mouth shut* LIKE I SAID!
The moment you all have been waiting for: My first find on Tumblr!
Rper: *mutters through duct tape* (Translation: Which isn't really the first find.)
Tsukiro: *sighs and face palms* Just post the damn list!
Rper: *mutters* (Okey doke!)
Presenting: "What Aizen Does in his Room Alone (According to Gin's Secret Cameras)"
--
Commentary:
RPer: So what did you think of this one?
Tsukiro: Admittedly, not very "hahaha" funny. But it was very satisfying to read about some of the dirt on Aizen I'm sure Gin has dug up by now and his totally not sharing with us. (The bastard).
RPer: *nods* I agree. It must be very embarrassing to have everyone know that you talk to a glowing ball of light and energy like its a plant. (And to curse by saying "Hogyoku balls.")
Tsukiro: ..... Uh, this was supposed to be as secret. Hence the terms "alone" and "secret."
Rper: .... oh.... well, everyone knows NOW. Oh, and one other thing.
Tsukiro and Rper: AIZEN YOU TALK TOO FUCKING MUCH!
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Nov 4, 2014 23:50:35 GMT -6
Presenting: Funny pics of the day
Tsukiro: But it's night time.
Rper: Meh. Like I care.
Tsukiro: *eye rolls* Which is exactly why I haven't had my own Zanpakuto until this rp. Thanks. Really feeling the love.
RPer: Well, you were created from scratch and wasn't really supposed to have a background in the first place, and I was too lazy to create your own zan and i had like twenty five of them already... so...
Tsukiro: *sword through heart and collapses from shellshock*
RPer: Anyway, ROLL CLIP!
Tsukiro: .... Not pretty, Hirako... not pretty....
RPer: BUT AIZEN'S FACE THOUGH!!!
Tsukiro: NO ONE CARES ABOUT AIZEN'S DORKY ASS FACE!!!
Rper: *makes an "oh i get it" face while raising index finger*
Tsukiro: DON'T PRETEND LIKE YOU GOT THAT!!!
Both: *start sniggering*
Tsukiro: wait. *looks at rper* You're short, so why are you laughing?
RPer: SHUT UP!
And that's it for today, er, night. Hope you enjoyed!
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Nov 10, 2014 13:59:29 GMT -6
And for today's Bleach List collection, we will be focusing on:
The zanpakuto!
Because they're hilarious.
Enjoy!
Mirrorverse Zanpakuto
Ichigo live tweets a picnic with the embodied zanpakuto
Bleach characters, you have just learned that Hyorinmaru and Kyoka Suigetsu are dating! How do you rerspond?
Senbonzakura gives all of the zanpakuto nicknames
And two bonus lists!
How they'd solve a Rubix cube
Grimmjow live tweets espada poker night
Tsukiro: Grimmjow, the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.
RPer: Says the character with the most issues.
Tsukiro: *anger marks* *duct tapes her whole face*
Tsukiro: *as Rper is struggling with the tape* As I was saying, confession is the first step to recovery, and you have VERY many problems. For example, you punch things... a lot... including yourself. *cough* bug list *cough* And there are a lot more that would take too long to list and this post is already getting on in words.
Rper: *muffled* At least he doesn't have as many as you.
Tsukiro: ...... *eerie smile* Excuse me. *turns to rper*
Rper: *sweats nervously* *muffled sheepish chuckle*
(To be continued)
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Nov 14, 2014 12:29:46 GMT -6
Presenting: Aizen and Urahara switch bodies!
Ha! Please! I gave Kisuke the permanent hat hair. *grins evilly* I put glue in a bucket and told him Yoruichi said that if he could walk backwards from the back of the barracks to the front of the barracks with it on his head, she would go out with him.
Best day of my life. I almost got an ulcer from laughing so hard. *smirks*
He did get to spend time with Yoruichi, however it was more like him screaming and her trying to yank the bucket off. Hence the term "bucket list."
Rper: *looks at Tsuki* That made ZERO sense!
Tsukiro: NOTHING makes sense when you're twelve. And yet, EVERYTHING makes sense.
Rper: *eye rolls* Like pranking Kisuke with a bucket filled with glue?
Tsukiro: *smirks* EXACTLY.
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Nov 14, 2014 12:54:07 GMT -6
Tsukiro: *goes balistic* NOOO!!!! KYORAKU, DON'T YOU FUCKING DO IT! DON'T LET AIZEN OUT!!! ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!?
Rper: *holds him back* Calm down! He's not going to Aizen! He's going to the 46!!! Read the next page!
Tsukiro: THAT DOESN'T MEAN HE'S NOT GOING TO ASK THEM TO LET HIM OUT!!! KYORAKU DON'T YOU DARE!!!!
Rper: But what if he's the only way to beat Yhwach, or whatever his name is?
Tsukiro: *glares at her with bloodshot eyes*
Rper: *gulps* or maybe the soul king will kill him? (Though I agree with Aizen, the soul king does look like a "thing." Neither does he look like much of a king...)
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Dec 5, 2014 0:06:51 GMT -6
Rper: *chanting* DO IT, DO IT, DO IT!
Tsukiro: Alright already!
*sighs* Today's post is not about tumblr. Instead, today I'll be.... *grumbles* Can't believe she's making me do this shit.
Rper: *smacks him* DO IT!
Tsukiro: *very displeased face* Today's post will feature me... confessing to stuff...
Rper: What kind of stuff?
Tsukiro: *extremely displeased face* Most likely embarrassing stuff.... God I hate you so much right now.
Rper: *smiles*
Tsukiro's Confessions
#1: ... I like cats... A lot... I hate dogs. They're rowdy, rambunctious. They drool and slobber all over everything and the tiny little ones think they're all big and bad and bite your ankles. Cats are civilized.... AND NO I'M NOT GAY! I JUST LIKE CATS, OKAY!
#2: My love of cats probably (most likely) stems from Yoruichi.
#3: Yoruichi is SO MUCH EASIER to deal with in her cat form..... And yes, she is a cuddler... And very soft and silky.
#4: .... I gave Kisuke his stupid hat. It was his birthday and I was mad because he out-pranked me the day before, so I thought it would be funny to get him a horrible present. So I bought the hat..... He loved it.... And I deeply regret it now.
#5: Kisuke is more fun when we're fighting, so usually I subconsciously end up doing stuff to deliberately make him mad. These days I usually end up with a fat lip. Growing up sucks.
#6: Not that Rangiku isn't pretty.... I just honestly think her outrageously gigantic boobs are good for nothing else but boob jobs and pillows. I mean, seriously, how can she even sleep at night? She probably suffocates when she lies on her stomach, and gets crushed when she lies on her back.
#7: The first time I got sent to Squad 4, Isane tended to me and I deliberately acted difficult because I was jealous of her height. She was amazingly patient. Kisuke, Soi Fon and Hitsugaya should take lessons from her.
#8: Rangiku and Hitsugaya have got to be the most hilarious captain-lieutenant pair in the history of the Gotei 13. I honestly want to laugh every time I see them together. Especially when Rangiku bugs the hell out of him.
#9: I keep a journal filled with short jokes about Hitsugaya's height that way I won't be tempted to say them out loud around him. I usually carry it with me when I meet with him.
#10: One time when I was transferred to Squad 10, I played truth or dare with some of the squad members. One of them dared me to go into a random squad barrack and pour red hair dye in their shampoo. I just so happened to walk into the captain's barracks (fairly easy to not know who's it was since I was new there, and the members didn't tell me either)....... His hair was pink for a two months. He found out it was me (because the members tattled) and he piled me with every scrap of paperwork in the squad. And every time I laughed at him he gave me more. It took me a year to finish it all because even after his hair was white again, I still laughed. I REGRET NOTHING.
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Post by Seto Tetsuya on Dec 5, 2014 16:48:22 GMT -6
Urahara has had that same hat for longer than you've been alive. How did YOU give it to him? Unless! You're older than I am!
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Dec 18, 2014 23:54:34 GMT -6
presenting:
A post inspired by the epiphany i just had.
I title it: The Stupid Moment.
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rper: *sits at desk with tablet, looking at picture of Szayel*
Tsukiro: *walks in and sees her* What are you doing?
Rper: Looking at a picture of Szayel.
Tsukiro: *eye rolls* DUH. What for?
Rper: *shows him picture and points* He doesn't have a mask.
Tsukiro: .......... What?
Rper: Szayel is an arrancar, which means he's supposed to have a broken mask. He doesn't have one. *turns picture around, tilting head while looking at it* I can't find it. There isn't one.
Tsukiro: *blinks* ............ *opens mouth then closes it, shaking head*
Rper: *looks at him* What? Say something!
Tsukiro: ................... It's on his face.....
Rper: *looks back to picture* Huh? No it isn't. The only thing on his face is his glasses.
Tsukiro: *looks to fourth wall with an "is she serious face"* *grabs a piece of white cardboard and a marker and writes "Free Rper"* *places it in front of her and leaves* I quit.
Rper: *two minutes later* .......... OOOHHHHHHHH! I GET IT NOW!
-----
And yes.... I just now realized that Szayel's mask is indeed his glasses.
Tsukiro: NO. His glasses are his mask.
Rper: Same difference.
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Dec 24, 2014 12:31:19 GMT -6
Presenting: If Bleach characters were small children who believed in Santa.
Tsukiro: Maybe I should make a nice and naughty list of all the characters on the forum, then post funny/embarrassing pictures of the ones who have been naughty.
Rper: And what about the ones who are nice?
Tsukiro: Their egos will be spared. *grins*
Rper: Uh huh. And what will that accomplish?
Tsukiro: Hopefully after enough embarrassing moments they will learn that being bad will get you nowhere.
Rper: And what about Aizen?
Tsukiro: ........ I'm afraid there is no hope for the Devil. His name is forever sewn into the naughty list with a permanent string of fate.
Rper: I see. and what about you? Which side are you on?
Tsukiro: How dare you assume that I am confined to one label? I thought you knew me better than that! I am the rebel of the Naughty/Nice list!
Rper: From what part of my brain did you come from again?
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