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Post by Makino Tori on Nov 28, 2016 22:37:39 GMT -6
"Dishonor":
Makino appeared at her fathers shrine that was sitting just past the garden. As she looked at his picture placed just above his sword, her tears fell even faster. Her heart was heavy and her breathing shallow as she fell to her knees just inside the entryway. She covered her face and sobbed into her hands.
"I am so sorry father. I have dishonored the Masanobu name. I fought with and struck Nii-sama and renounced my nobility as a Masanobu heir because I did not want to live by his rules. Please forgive me, but I cannot live the way he wishes of me. I can't. I won't. Not after what you have raise me to believe and the way you taught me to live. I cannot go against who I am. Who you raised me to be."
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Post by Sojiro Ichimaru on Nov 29, 2016 10:15:51 GMT -6
“If you’re going to apologize,” a low voice murmured from the entrance, “will you allow me to do so as well?” Sojiro was leaning against the entranceway, his face unreadable. When her tear-struck eyes swiveled to him, he winced and then straightened. “May I?” he asked.
When she nodded but looked away, he walked over and kneeled by her, taking her hands in his. The vioet sparks of ardor in his eyes had been replaced with azure pools of worry. “I shouldn’t have stayed outside and let you talk,” he reached out to touch the cut and she started and pulled back, eyes still lowered.
“How much did you hear?”
Sojiro’s hand paused in midair. Sighing, he lowered it back to her hands. “Enough.” She flinched again. “Makino, it doesn’t matter. It’s something I will always hear, and I don’t think your brother meant it.” He lowered his own head. “There are some stains that don’t wash away,” he whispered. He squeezed her hands and hurried on. “But he saw a different side to you today. I think it scared him and he lashed out.” He halted and kissed her forehead.
"Please stop crying. You're still a part of your family."
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Post by Makino Tori on Nov 29, 2016 13:21:46 GMT -6
Her head fell forward resting to his chest. "If anyone should be sorry it is me. I came on to you first and started all this. If I would have just behave like a lady we would not be in this mess." She sighed heavily.
"Sometimes I wonder if father would be taking the same action as Byakuya-sama. Would father be disappointed in me like I am making Byakuya-sama disappointed in me?" Her head shook as she lifted it from Sojiro's chest. She looked deep into his eyes.
"I have never been this way around anyone. There is something about you that makes me want to give you all of me. When you are away from me I feel like something is missing and I can't wait to see you again. If another girl gets close to you. Any girl! It drives me crazy!" She hesitated a shameful tone entering her voice as her eyes lowered. "Is that bad? Is it me being selfish? Is this unhealthy?" Her eyes came up and looked into his again.
"You're not that way with me. So it has to be wrong." Her hands slid from his as they covered her face once more. "What's wrong with me?"
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Post by Sojiro Ichimaru on Nov 29, 2016 14:53:48 GMT -6
Sojiro didn’t reply immediately but wrapped his arms around her and held her close as she started to cry again. He sighed internally. He really hated it when a woman cried. It reminded him too much of the lost state his mother had fallen into multiple times. Of the doubt and loneliness he couldn’t assuage. And now, even though he was holding Makino close, he found it to be more difficult to find the words to reassure her.
Her eldest brother’s words rattled in his ears, not the usual sorbid details, though they stung when being flung at him in this incidence, but more his words beforehand. His belief that he did not love Makino. That he was still a child. And didn’t know how to yet. That combined with his confession to Kouen and Shiro-san echoed in his head.
Makino’s shaking shoulders brought him back to the present. To the wonderful, brave, stubborn woman who had claimed him. “Makino,” he whispered, combing her hair back, “there’s nothing wrong with you.”
“But...”
He tightened his grip around her, eyes turning to the portrait above them, and took a breath. “Maki, remember what I told your family a month ago, when they first met me?” She nodded. He hesitated and then lifted her head and kissed her cheek then her eye. “You opened the world to me, Maki-Hachi. And the truth is that I am still learning about it. About what you’ve given me and what you’re offering. If there’s something wrong with one of us, it’s me.” He stroked her opposite cheek, brushing the tears away. “I care for you. Deeply. But the truth is, something I am just coming to understand, is that I’m still scared to say the words.”
He let his hands fall to her shoulders as he set his head against hers. “You asked me to come to you. To trust you. Well, your promise to stay at my side does warm me, even ignites something more inside me, but putting my pride aside, I am still terrified at what could happen to you.” He closed his eyes. “I won’t know if I can protect you until something else happens.”
And I don’t want to make a mistake that will haunt both of us.
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Post by Makino Tori on Nov 29, 2016 15:38:37 GMT -6
Makino looked up into his eyes her tears still falling at his words. "I am sorry. I have caused you great confusion then. I should have never tempted you in the ways I have. I have caused you to do things out of character, things that you would not have normally done." She pushed away from him and bowed to him.
"It seems I have brought shame and dishonor to more than just my family. I have cause people to doubt and look down on you as well by my actions. I apologize. I have caused Nii-sama to believe you were the cause of my misbehaving like the lady he has grown to know and love."
She looked up at him with a weak smile. "I will stop my lecherous ways with you and be the lady I was taught to be with my suitor."
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Post by Sojiro Ichimaru on Nov 29, 2016 16:06:20 GMT -6
Sojiro felt his hands fall to his side as she pulled away and then bowed to him, taking all the blame and giving him a lukewarm smile. It seemed wrong. Standing slowly, he reached out to her and started speaking again, stumbling over his words and his reason. He just wanted her smile to return.
“Maki, you really didn’t do anything wrong, and it’s definitely not your fault. People always doubt me, and you’ve been wonderful to me and for me. Please don’t belittle yourself because of tonight. Don’t think that I’m confused because of you. I mean, yes, I am confused. But it’s not what you are doing. You’ve never dishonored yourself or-”
He fell silent as Captain Kuchiki appeared at the doorway of the shrine. He lowered his head. “Makino, I’m sorry. If you’re doubting yourself…” He sighed and walked over to the entrance, bowing to the captain. “Please don’t blame her for tonight. “
“I don’t remember casting blame on either party. If I had, you wouldn’t have merely seen the blossoms of my release.”
Sojiro nodded, glanced back towards Makino, and then turned back to the captain. “I understand. Thank you. I’ll take my leave.”
Captain Kuchiki didn’t say a word. But Sojiro still felt like a weight had settled onto his chest. He disappeared.
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Post by Makino Tori on Nov 29, 2016 16:21:49 GMT -6
She turned and looked to Byakuya with a bow. "I apologize for my actions tonight with Sojiro and with Nii-sama. I have brought shame to myself and others because of said actions. I will apologize to mothe-- the lady of the house. Gather my things and be out of the way. Again I apologize."
She stood and looked into his slate gray eyes, his face unreadable like it had been since the last couple of weeks of her training with him. "I am sorry you got pulled into this and I thank you for everything you have done for me and mothe--Lady Saya. I just wanted to visit one last place before I had left. I will be out of the manor shortly."
When he did not say anything only looked at her, she questioned him. "That is why you are here, right? To escort myself and Sojiro off the premises, correct?"
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Post by Captain Byakuya Kuchiki on Nov 29, 2016 16:37:54 GMT -6
“No,” he respondend, “it is neither my place to remove you from the manor nor would it be my wish. That would go for anyone in this household.” Byakuya walked into the shrine, lit the incense, and knelt, putting his hands together. After a few more moments, Makino knelt by him.
Closing his eyes, he left her to her silence and allowed her to gather her fraying thoughts, his own mind moving between the memories of his own household in the far away past and to the household he was attempting to take under his wing in place of the man in the portrait.
After a good while, he opened his eyes and folded his hands into his kimono. “Why are you second guessing yourself now? And why do you believe that the fault, if there is one, is on your shoulders?”
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Post by Makino Tori on Nov 29, 2016 16:54:14 GMT -6
Makino blushed as her eyes stayed closed. She could not believe she was going to share this with the man beside her. Her mentor, her soon to be father, she was not even sure she could share this with her mother. This subject was something she had only shared with her two youngest of brothers, Kouen and Shirou. She lifted her head lowering her hands as she looked Byakuya's way.
"I am the one that advanced on Sojiro." Her cheeks heated up and turned a brighter shade of red when Byakuya gave her a confused look. She knew he was not to sure what she meant. "I made..." her eyes lowered from his. "I was the one that made the first sexual advance toward Sojiro." She blurted out quickly as her eyes went tightly shut, her head shook quickly.
"I shouldn't have. I know that now. Its my fault. I started all this. And now...that... that I have lit that flame I can't get it to go out. I want him even more now then I ever did. I have shamed myself, my family and poor Sojiro and his family."
She sniffled softly. "I have been such a fool. A blind fool."
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Post by Captain Byakuya Kuchiki on Nov 29, 2016 17:56:54 GMT -6
Byakuya looked back to the burning incense and then chuckled quietly, closing his eyes. “Like mother, like daughter,” he murmured.
Makino turned quickly to him and Byakuya looked to her with calm eyes. “Your mother was the first one to admit that there are powerful emotions between us. Your actions are only more forwards than words.” Makino dropped her eyes. “However, I didn’t say that those actions cast dishonor on your family, yourself, or your boyfriend.”
When Makino’s eyes lifted, his own had risen back to the portrait over them. “Your father, if I understand the glimpses your mother has bestowed on me, would not see it in that light. You are a Masanobu, Makino, a noble family who took upon the mantle of assassins to protect the order of the realm. Perhaps your feminine independent nature would have been frowned upon in other families, but you were not raised as they were.” A fleeting smile moved across his lips. “They would not have allowed you to frolic with the boys in the mud.”
He paused, listening to her giggle. "Deep feelings create fools. But they also create strength. It is your choice which one they have fostered inside you." He turned to look into her eyes. "And Senbonzakura wouldn't have indulged me so readily if the offense was greater than what I perceived it to be."
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Post by Makino Tori on Nov 29, 2016 18:50:31 GMT -6
Makino looked to Byakuya. "My feelings for Sojiro have made me stronger, but my actions toward Sojiro have made him act out of character. He is such a gentlemen. He would have never taken advantage of me in the way I have him. I have let my feelings for him make me do things I should have never done. After his confession of feelings and his thoughts about me. I feel bad for what I have done."
She shook her head. "Why didn't he stop me? Put me in my place and make me behave? We would not be here in this mess if he had."
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Post by Captain Byakuya Kuchiki on Nov 29, 2016 23:08:52 GMT -6
Byakuya was uncertain how to reply. She still seemed distracted and had missed part of the purpose of his speech, but she had confided in him. It would be dishonorable to leave someone else to answer her question. “Perhaps you should consider why he didn’t and not what you believed to have done wrong to find your answer. Or even answers. Since you are now doubting falling for him as far as you have.”
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Post by Makino Tori on Nov 29, 2016 23:25:33 GMT -6
Makino shook her head. "I am not doubting anything on how I feel for Sojiro. Years ago I thought I was in love with the man I was to wed." Her head shook slowly. "The feelings I had for that man is nothing compared to what I feel for Sojiro. I had ask myself hundreds of times when when he was alive. Is this really love? Do I love this man? Or am I just playing the game they wanted me to play? I did care for him. That is a fact, but..." She looked to Byakuya and smiled brightly. "But with Sojiro. It is so much different. I don't doubt anything in my way of feelings for him, but..." her head hung.
"...it seems Sojiro still needs time. He says he cares about me, but he won't bring himself to say those words. Not until he know without a doubt that he can protect me." She looked quickly back up at Byakuya. "What that has to do with anything I will never know. He either loves me or he don't. His heart is not going to break any more or any less if he can't protect me, and loses me. So what is it. Is he afraid of the guilt? He can't protect me from everything. Not even my mother and father could do that."
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Post by Captain Byakuya Kuchiki on Nov 29, 2016 23:33:05 GMT -6
Byakuya rose from the hard ground of the shrine and looked to his soon-to-be daughter. "Walk with me." When she hurried to her feet, brushing off her kimono, Byakuya turned around and started walking the candlelit path. "You have some of the answers before you, Makino, if you stop and think about it and not worry about your feelings."
When she remained silent, he pressed. "Has he not told any of the details of his past?"
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Post by Makino Tori on Nov 29, 2016 23:49:03 GMT -6
Makino nodded then shook her head. "I am sure I have not heard all of it, only bits and pieces. Though, what I have heard is not pleasant. I am sure there is much worse. Aizen has targeted him because of who his mother and father are." Her head titled slightly. "May I ask you a question?"
Byakuya nodded, "You may."
"I know who Sojiro's father is. He is well known throughout the Gotei history, but I can find nothing on his mother. I only know her name is Kita Miyamoto. If she was a Soul Reaper that was sent on mission to Las Noches to stop Aizen, why am I not finding information on her? And the Goddess in Las Noches, Sumi, I believe they said her name was. Why did she turn on Soul Society and fight along with Aizen Sousuke and Vale Tervaden? Was she a fallen angel?" She looked to Byakuya as they walked. "You were there right? You know most of everything that happened...Like Sojiro."
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