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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Dec 9, 2014 22:02:21 GMT -6
*facepalm* Omg no. lmao.
That made my day.
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on Dec 26, 2014 22:35:31 GMT -6
Episode #81 - Unicorn
[MUSIC PLAYS OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning! Today's episode is brought to you by: Shunsui Sake. Look out! There's a wall! Kisuke: Alrighty! We have a special guest. Her name is...Cabesa? Camissa? Toshiro: Cassava. Kisuke: What? Toshiro: Her name is Cassava. It's a flower. Kisuke: What the hell do I care about a flower? What's our special guests name? Toshiro: Cassava! Kisuke: Oh! Cassava. Like the flower? Toshiro: *Deadpans* Kisuke: That's unnecessary, sir. Cassava: Shopkeeper. Kisuke: Cassava! *Look at her* Oh my....Cassava. *Winks* Cassava: Not on your life, Shopkeep. Kisuke: Well, of course. How about in a bed? Cassava: How about you die. Nnoitra: Ha! Kisuke: Zip it! Fucking spoon... Whisper: *Appears out of nowhere* Well, that's not very nice! Kisuke: *Screams* Who the dickens are you?! Whisper: Who the dickens says 'who the dickens?' Kisuke: I do. And, you did. Cassava: Whisper... Whisper: Yeah?! Cassava: Why are you here? Whisper: Because you're here. Cassava: What does my being here have to do with anything? Whisper: ...I like following you? Kisuke: ...So, you're a crazy stalker lady? Whisper: No. Oh! Tell Yoruichi that she should wear that red dress she showed you last night. Kisuke: ...How... Whisper: *Smiles* Cassava: We are Espada. How do you even have time to stalk anyone? Whisper: Do you know who Sousuke Aizen is? He spends most of his time fucking Unicorn and his Kitten. We can do whatever the hell we want. Cassava: Who is Unicorn? Whisper: You know...Unicorn... Cassava: Yumiko? Whisper: Yeah. No! Who is Yumiko?! Cassava: ...Aizen's love slave... Whisper: Oh! ...Unicorn! Kisuke: ...Does she have a horn? Whisper: What?! No! Unicorn is a girl!
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on Jan 10, 2015 10:28:50 GMT -6
Episode #82 - Names
[MUSIC PLAYS OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Kitty Lover: Good morning! And, welcome to another episode of SSLN News! Today's episode is brought to you by: Loki Lollipops. They'll rip your tongue out. Kitty Lover: Ok! *Looks to left* ...
Iceberg: What?
Kitty Lover: *Looks left still* ...
Iceberg: What, Kitty Lover?
Kitty Lover: What...Did you just call me?
Iceberg: Ki-...
Kitty Lover: What the dickens is going on?!
Aizen Whisper'er: Who the dickens say what the dickens?!
Kitty Lover: Hush, Aizen Whisper'er!
Aizen Whisper'er: Who told you that?! *huffs*
Poison Ivy: It wasn't hard to figure out.
Anita: What the hell is going on? Why the hell am I Anita?!
Kitty Lover: You...You can't help that. THAT is your name.
Foxy Brown: I think he means to ask, why are our names all different?
Kitty Lover: Hell if I know! Who else has some fucked up name?
Puppeh: ...I'm not a puppy...
Kitty Lover: *Looks up* Any...one...else?
Perv: I have no complaints about my name. It's true.
Catnip: Fuck off! I'm busy. *blows smoke*
Fruit Bat: *Looks at The Spoon the cereal bowl* My spoon is too big...
Kitty Lover: ....
The Spoon: Fuck you all, goddamnit!
Kitty Lover: Anyone else?!
Shoutbox King: BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bonquiqui: What the hell?!
Kitty Lover: WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT, QUIQUI!
Whiney Ass Woman: I hate you all...
Kitty Lover: ...You don't even know who we are...*Looks at camera* First to tell Roy who we all are...without using the member screen...Gets a wallie. *Winks*
Roy Hairyballish: Stop volunteering me for things, Kitty Lover.
Puppeh: *Picks Roy up and puts her on his shoulder* It's alright, Roy. There there.
Roy Hairyballish: ...I hate you...
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Post by Urahara Kisuke on Jan 10, 2015 20:45:22 GMT -6
Kitty Lover: Kisuke Iceberg: Toshiro Aizen Whisper'er: Whisper Poison Ivy: Cassava Anita: Aizen Foxy Brown: Gin Puppeh: Sajin Catnip: Grimmjow Perv: Kyo Fruit Bat: Ulquiorra The Spoon: Nnoitra Shoutbox King: The Hat Bonquiqui: Vacanze Whiney Ass Woman: Kita Roy Hairyballish: Ryo
I think I got them all. I would like a wallpaper of myself thank you very much ma`am *smirks*
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on Jan 10, 2015 20:47:37 GMT -6
Well then...Alright. I shall make a wallpaper of you Kitty Lover.
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on Feb 21, 2015 9:23:11 GMT -6
Hm....I haven't done an episode in far too long. So, help me out a bit. Choose today's topic and I will write it. If you have any other ideas, let me know...
*Aizen and Gin talks about the hole in Aizen's chest
*Vale talks to Sumi
*Catnip part II
*Periods in Las Noches from the male perspective
*Kisuke has "the talk" with Kenji
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Feb 21, 2015 12:46:13 GMT -6
*Kisuke has "the talk" with Kenji... LMAO! That should be funny as hell.
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on May 4, 2015 9:29:02 GMT -6
Episode #83 - Roller Coaster [MUSIC PLAYS OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning! And, welcome to another episode of SSLN News. Today's news is brought to you by: Shinsou Sleep Studies - He'll put you to sleep before you realize he's feeling you up! Kisuke: Alright, folks! Let's get real he for a second. A certain someone revealed a certain something to a certain someone about a certain something in regards to a certain someone.
Toshiro: ...What?
Kisuke: A certain someone...revealed a certain something...to a certain someone...about a certain something...in regards to a certain someone.
Toshiro: What does that mean?
Gin: *Walks through room* It means that Kita told him that Aizen is terrified of roller coasters. *Walks out of room*
Aizen: ...She did what?!
Kita: *Sneaks away*
Aizen: Oh no! Get back here, Kita!
Kisuke: Oh what's wrong, Aizen? Don't want everyone to know you're afraid of a little roller coaster?
Aizen: I am not afraid!
Kisuke: Anita's afraid of roller coasters! Anita's afraid of roller coasters!
Kita: What are you teasing him for? You're afraid of them too.
Kisuke: Wa-? I am not. I'll get on one.
Kita: And, then no more. Both of you are big ass pansies!
Aizen:*Whines* I am not a pansy! *Stomps around*
Kisuke: Shut it, Anita! *Looks at Kita* We are not pansies! We'll prove it to you! We'll get on a roller coaster right now!
Aizen: No we won't!
Kisuke: Shut up! Man up, Aizen! Man the fuck up!
Aizen: I don't want to! No! I don't wanna! *Covers ears and whines* La la la la! I don't wanna!
Kyo: So...He'll take over the world. But, won't get on the a roller coaster?
Juushiro: Every man has his weakness, I suppose.
Kisuke: Man the fuck up, Anita!
Aizen: I dun wanna!
[MUSIC FADES OUT]
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Post by Sousuke Aizen on May 4, 2015 11:28:21 GMT -6
*glares at guilty party* You and I are going to have a talk, Kitten.
((So what. I am scared of a roller-coaster a lot of people are. Also, LMAO! That was good. Nice to see you doing the News again Ryo))
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on May 4, 2015 11:32:56 GMT -6
((I hate them too. But, I will get on them. Thank you. I'll try to do more.))
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Post by Captain Juushiro Ukitake on May 4, 2015 12:57:14 GMT -6
((Heheheh. Such an ironic fear, Aizen, with what you teach. So all Gin has to do is knock you out and tie you to a rollercoaster to break you?~ ))
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on May 19, 2015 14:26:50 GMT -6
Episode #85 - Drink
[MUSIC PLAYS OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning! And, welcome to another episode of SSLN News! Today's episode is brought to you by: Hirabayashi Hair Remover - Ew...
Yoruichi: *Waves hand* Hi. Hello. Back to the conversation. You left the toilet seat up, again. Kisuke: Well, I'm sorry. Look before you sit. Yoruichi: *Glares* Kisuke: Besides, you're a cat most of the time. You drink from the toilet more than you use it. Leaving the seat up should make it easier to take a drink. Yoruichi: You ass! *Smacks Kisuke* Kisuke: What?! You get up late at night. You're not going to the kitchen for a drink. Yoruichi: Zip it! Grimmjow: *Takes a puff and passes it to Aizen* Let me...Let me get this...forward...STRAIGHT! Your pussy drinks from the jon. Instead of chewing on the end of your straw...straw. Aizen: Who...who chews...That would hurt! *Takes a puff and passes it back to Grimmjow* Grimmjow: Well, she ain't really chewing on that shit, you diaper wearing old ass! *Takes a long puff before passing it to Aizen again* Aizen: Hey! Hey...Hey...That was once! For seventeen years! You can't hold that one time currently against me. *Take a puff and scoots the the edge of his chair* Besides...besides this isn't about me. This is about Kisuke drinking from the toilet! *Falls over* Grimmjow: Bitch! .... *Looks at Aizen on the floor* He fell on the damn 'nip! *Looks at Kisuke* You drink from the shit catcher? Kisuke: Why are you two getting high while we're trying to do the news? And, no I do not. Grimmjow: We ain't getting high, you fuck! We were high before we got here! We have to be...To deal...deal with your...YOU! *Falls over* Whose got something to eat?! Kisuke: *Shakes head* Dumbasses... [MUSIC FADES OUT]
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on Aug 18, 2015 13:26:33 GMT -6
Episode #86 - Bad Pussy [MUSIC PLAYS OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning! And, welcome to another episode of SSLN News! Today's episode is brought to you by: Aizen's Moon Phase Calender - It's extremely accurate if you can count. Kisuke: So, I hear that this little shindig has been going on for a little over a year now. Yoruichi: You remember that. But, you can't remember my birthday? Kisuke: Well.. That's different. That's your birthday. Yoruichi: What's that got to do with the price of tea in China? Kisuke: It means...That I'm going to be quiet now. And, that I love you... Aizen: Trouble in paradise, Brother? Kisuke: Zip it. I'm not taking love advice from a single man named Anita. Aizen: That's because you're spoiled on bad pussy. Yoruichi: Excuse me? Aizen: Yoruichi, darling. We've had this conversation before. We would make a delicious brew. Kenji: Uncle A, you're a tea drinker like dad? Grimmjow: No, numbnut! Daddy's too stupid to recognize good pussy , even if it fucked him in the face! Kenji: So, we're talking about cats, now? Nnoitra: Your kid is just as dumb as you are! Kisuke: Like you're one to talk about stupidity, damn spoon. Nnoitra: At least I get laid! Grimmjow: Fuck that! You're brother is talking about petting that cat. And, you're letting him! Kisuke: I'm not letting him! Kenji: Wait! What are we talking about? Kisuke: Nothing, Kenji. Yoruichi: Sweetheart, why don't you go play with Evita. Mommy will handle your Aunt and his pets. Kenji: Grimmjow's not my Aunt! [MUSIC FADES]
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on Sept 16, 2015 20:01:16 GMT -6
Episode #87 - Bug [MUSIC PLAYS OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning! And, welcome to another episode of SSLN News! Today's episode is brought to you by: Something...I don't know. I couldn't think of anything. Kisuke: Ok, you damn ass cracks! Which of you did it? Grimmjow: *Takes a puff* What the fuck are you barking about now? Kisuke: You know good and damn well what I am barking about! Grimmjow: If I knew, I wouldn't have asked! You dumb fuck! *Takes another puff* What...*And another...* What the fuck...*And another* the fuck is your problem? Nnoitra: He ain't getting none! *Falls over* Grimmjow: *Takes another puff* Getting...What? Nnnoitra: None! *Squirms on floor* Grimmjow: What? *Takes a puff* Why would he get none? *Stares at Nnoitra* Kisuke: Shut the fuck up! *Snatches nip out of Grimmjow's mouth* This...Is MINE! Aizen: *Snatches nip from Kisuke* And, now it's mine! Grimmjow: No it ain't you fucking bug whore! Aizen: Bug whore? Really? Kisuke: You're better off calling him Anita... Grimmjow: *Punches Kisuke* Shut up! That ain't...That ain't funny! *Points at Aizen* Annnnnd yes! You're a whore! Aizen: ...As long as I'm not a bug... [MUSIC FADES OUT]
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Post by Captain Ryo Hirabayashi on Sept 29, 2015 9:12:53 GMT -6
Episode #88 - Fuck You! [MUSIC PLAYS OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning! And, welcome to another episode of SSLN News! Today's episode is brought to you by: People with fucked up names...Like Jaegerjaquez. And, Ayasegawa... Aizen: *Runs in* Kisuke! Kisuke! Kisuke! Kisuke: What?! Aizen: *Pulls picture out of shirt and unfolds it* Look! *Holds up picture* Kisuke: *Snatches picture from Aizen* No...Way... Aizen: I know, right! Kisuke: What do we do? What do we do? Aizen: *Grins* Blackmail! Toshiro: *Snatches picture from Kisuke* This isn't real. Kisuke: How do you know? Toshiro: Well, I don't. But, do you think this is real? Aizen: I think its real! I know its real! There's 16 pages to prove it! Kisuke: First of all, that's disusting! Second of all, *dry heaves*. Thirdly, eww! Szayel: *Takes picture from Toshiro* Oh my. *drops picture* Grimmjow: *Picks up picture* What the fuck is this shit? Nnoitra: *Snatches picture from Grimmjow* Nonexistent, that's what! Vale: *Peeks at picture* What fuckery is that?! Kisuke: Absolutely nothing! *Laughs* Gin: *Snatches picture from Nnoitra* You...*Points to Aizen* Fuck you! Aizen: Not again! [MUSIC FADES OUT]
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