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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Oct 27, 2014 22:52:22 GMT -6
Back when we started the Bleach RP MANY MANY years ago on TheO. We had the goofiest Kisuke I could imagine. While the RPer no longer plays Kisuke, they have taken on other roles in Bleach Unrated. It never failed. If we needed a pick me up, they ware there with their wild and crazy News Flashes. So, enjoy!
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Oct 27, 2014 23:05:02 GMT -6
Episode #54 [MUSIC PLAYS OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning, fellow campers! Today's addition of SSLN News is brought to you by: Jiruga Bubblegum. Nothing is sweeter than sugar coated cockroaches. Nnoitra: I'm not a fucking cockroach, you dimwitted pussbump. Kisuke: Puss...bump... Kita: Boys. Kisuke: What the hell is a pussbump? Nnoitra: ...You... Kisuke: ...I'm telling Nel. Nnoitra: You had better - Kita: Boys! Both of you! Shut the hell up and get on with it. Kiuske: He started it! Kita: ...Kisuke I will shove you in a closet! AGAIN! Kisuke: ...*Clears throat*...Now, on to Toshiro with the weather. Toshiro: Its cold. Kisuke: Thanks Toshiro. As always, you are super duper informative. Toshiro: Then why waste both our time with this foolishness? Kisuke: Same reason why Ulquiorra is the best for talking about headlines. Ulquiorra: Leave me out of this. *Deadpans* Kisuke: You're in it, my friend. You are in it. Ichigo: KISUKE! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TELL HER?! Kisuke: Thanks for tuning into SSLN News. Next episode, if I'm not here I may be in a closet. Kita: It's not like you wouldn't deserve it. Ichigo: KISUKE! Kisuke: Bye! [MUSIC FADES OUT OVER LOUD SPEAKER] To be continued... |
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Oct 27, 2014 23:06:36 GMT -6
Episode #54 - Special Report, Part One [MUSIC CHIMES IN OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Welcome to SSLN News - Special Report. Tonight's special guest are:
Kisuke Urahara
Gin Ichimaru
Sousuke Aizen
Kita Miyamoto
& Szayel Aporro Now, here's your host Kaizo Konpaku! ... Announcer: Mr. Konpaku... ... Announcer: Mr...Konpaku...You're on, sir. ... Announcer: ...Kon, sir... Kon: ...Now you know my name! Kisuke: Mod-souls. Kon: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?! Kisuke: A mod-soul. It's what you are. Unless, you prefer to be called something else, Kaizo. Kon: Go lick a moving tire, Kisuke! Gin: Hello? Hi. This is supposed to be about me, yes? Kon: Yes, Mr. Squinty. This is about you. *Stick tongue out at Kisuke* Gin: *Grins* Don't test me, puppet. Kon: PUPPET?! Kita: Kon! Get on with it! Kon: ALRIGHT ALREADY! Gin Ichimaru you are accused of impregnating Szayel Aporro! *Stand on counter top* Is that TRUE?! Kisuke: o.o *Gags* Gin: *Eye twitches* Puppet... Szayel: *Twirls hair* Kita: *Facepalm* Kon, Szayel is not a woman! Kon: What? Really? Kita: Really. Kisuke, tell him. Kisuke: How would I know?! *Gags again* Kita: Stop it! All of you! Nnoitra, are you recording this? Nnoitra(Behind the scenes): Duh! Kita: Stop! [Kita knocks over the camera. But, they can all still be heard bickering like a bunch of bad-asses.] Kita: Listen to me, you asses! Kon, stop making shit up. It's not funny. Kisuke, stop throwing up. It's nasty. Szayel...keep twirling your hair or something. I don't know why you're here anyway. Kisuke: Why are you here? *Looks at Szayel* Szayel: To find out what's underneath that hat of yours, when this is all said and done. Kisuke: *Gags* Gin: Oh my. You are a lecherous old shop keep, aren't you? *Grins* Kisuke: Oh god. *Gags* Oh god. Kita: *Facepalm* Lord Ichimaru, please do not make this any worse than it already is. Gin: No no. Not worse. This is fascinating. The Octava and the Shop Keep. Fascinating. Kisuke: Zip it! It's not true! It's not right. He's like...Mayuri but...pink... Gin: Oh. So, you have a soft spot Kurotsuchi as well? Kisuke: *Gags and groans* Kita: ...I quit. You're a bunch of idiots. Kon: Hey! This is becoming less about me and more about you attention hogs! TO BE CONTINUED... |
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Oct 27, 2014 23:07:30 GMT -6
Episode #54 - Special Report, Part Two [MUSIC BLARES OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Kita: Ok. We're going to do this like normal people, alright Gin: *Nods* Kisuke: *Mumbles* Kita: Kisuke, hush with the mumbles. You've brought this on yourself. Gin: Did you have to hang him upside down? *Grins* Kita: *Nods* Kisuke: *Mumbles angrily* Kita: *Rips tape off Kisuke's mouth* What?! Kisuke: Get Kon's face out of my butt! Kita: *Rolls eyes* Kisuke: At least give me back my hat! Kita: Nope. *Puts on Kisuke's hat after re-tapping his mouth* Alright. Lord Ichimaru, you would say that you are the right hand of Lord Aizen, yes? Gin: *Nods* Kita: What if that changed? What if, situation the same, Kisuke was in Lord Aizen's place? Gin: Kisuke? Kita: Yes, Kisuke. Gin: Kisuke Urahara? The shop keep? *Points to Kisuke hanging upside down* That Kisuke? Kita: Yes, Lord Gin. That Kisuke. What would you do if Kisuke was your Captain? Gin: That Kisuke? Kita: Lord Gin! What would you do if you were following Kisuke instead of Lord Aizen?! Gin: Kill myself... Kita: Ki-...What? Gin: I...I can take the tyrannical rule of an egotistical maniac...But, him... Kisuke: *Mumbles* Gin: I mean...Look at him! He's hanging upside down with a puppet in his ass. Kita: ...You...You did that to Kon, though... Gin: *Grins* I did. Kita: So...You wouldn't follow Kisuke? Gin: Can you picture me in a bucket hat? Being terrorized by Kurosaki and *shivers* helping people? Kita: Well...no. But, I said situation the same. He would be in Lord Aizen's position. Szayel: In other words, Kisuke Urahara would be leading this lovely band of misfits, hm... Gin: Oh! Well..I'm not sure that he can maintain that facade. I, without a doubt, would continue to be as superior as I already am. But...him. Evil...and clever...maybe smart...better hair, maybe...clean...less annoying...hatless...*takes a deep breathe* Kita: ... Gin: ... Kita: Lord Gin? Gin: I would kill him... Kisuke: *Mumbles* [TO BE CONTINUED] |
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Oct 27, 2014 23:08:37 GMT -6
Episode #55 [MUSIC PLAYS OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: *Whispers* Good morning...This episode is brought to you by... Toshiro brand underwear. They keep you cool, so you can stay out of the cold. Kisuke: *Still whispering* In case you're wondering why I'm whispering...I'm hiding from Ichigo...And Kita. Mostly Kita. She's crazy and likes putting me in closets. Kita: *Whispers* So you think hiding from me beneath a desk is going to save you from that? Kisuke: *Screams* Nnoitra: Impressive, Kita! I haven't heard him scream like that in quite a while. Not since I tried killing him... Kisuke: That was yesterday! Nnoitra: *Shrugs* Still counts as a while. Kisuke: I suppose it does. Why are you always trying to kill me, anyway? Nnoitra: Natural order of things. You annoy me. I want to kill you. Simple. Kisuke: Oh. It's just that simple, huh? Nnoitra: Yup. Kita: *Twists rope in her hands* So...Kisuke... Kisuke: ...No no... Kita: We can do this the hard way. Or, the easy way. Now, I prefer the hard way because I like to see you squirm. But, the choice is yours. Kisuke: ...But whyyyyy?! Why are you doing this to me? Kita: I want to know some things, is all. Nnoitra: *Grabs Kisuke by the face* I can make him talk! Kita: Oh this is going to be fun. Kisuke: I'm telling Nel and Szayel! Nnoitra: You fucking wouldn't! Besides, I'm not afraid of her. Kisuke: Aren't you? Nnoitra: Fu- Nel: Nnoitra... Nnoitra: *Drops Kisuke* ... Nel: ... Kisuke: *Whispers* Good boy... Kita: *Smacks Kisuke with the rope* Kisuke: Oh well hey! Yuroichi: *Clears throat* Kisuke: Oh hey...How are you? Where the hell did you come from? *Steps away from Kita* Nnoitra: *Grins and whispers* Good boy... [TO BE CONTINUED] |
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Oct 27, 2014 23:19:46 GMT -6
Tsukiro: *eye twitches as RPer is laughing her ass off in the background* What. The. Fuck. Did. We. Just. READ.
RPer: *laughing too hard* I DON'T KNOW BUT IT WAS FUNNIER THAN THE BUG LIST!
Tsukiro: *Makes a face at her* Bug... list...?
Bug List
Tsukiro: *reading papers as RP continues to laugh herself silly* *narrows eyes and walks away, throwing papers in the air* You're all a bunch of fools, and I give up.
RPer: *rolling around on the floor* GRIMJOWW PUNCHED HIMSELF IN THE FACE!!!! *cries tears of laughter* |
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Post by Gin Ichimaru on Oct 27, 2014 23:55:28 GMT -6
Gin: *smirks* Now, brat, you actually did something worthwhile Find more fun things like that if you can~ *looks back at SSLN* I should do that to this Kisuke if I ever stay at his place again.
RPER: LMAO! Tsukiro, that list was EPIC!
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Oct 29, 2014 21:19:08 GMT -6
Episode #56 [MUSIC BLARES OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Gooood morning! Today's episode is brought to you by: Sousuke's Soap on a Rope. Don't drop your soap...Szayel is behind you. Toshiro: I thought I sponsored the news. Kisuke: That was yesterday. Toshiro: So, your sponsor changes with the day? Kisuke: ...Yes. That's..That's usually how this type of thing works. Toshiro: I would expect my sponsorship to last more than a day. I have invested quite a bit into this little venture of your. Kisuke: Well...You do that weather report sometimes...And, what have you invested, exactly? Toshiro: The other Captains and myself protect this entire town from harm. I would like to think that - ... Kisuke: Yeah see, you think too much. Stop it. Toshiro: Excuse me? Kisuke: Yeah. Anyway, I think you're missing the point. I have a different sponsor everyday because it's funny...And, you don't care. Toshiro: *Deadpans* Kisuke: Hm...That's Ulqui's thing. Ulquiorra: ... Kisuke: ...Anyway...Um.. Nnoitra: *Stammers into room, shirt ripped* Kisuke: The hell? Nnoitra: Kisuke...Help me... Kisuke: Again, I say...the hell? Nel: Nnnnnnnnoiiiitrrrraaaaaa! Nnoitra: She's like four! Kisuke: What?! How the hell did that happen?! Nel: Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnooooooiiiiiitttttraaaaaaaa! Nnoitra: I don't know! I...don't...know... Kisuke: What did you do?! Nel: *Jumps on Nnoitra's back* Kisuke: *Screams* THE HELL?! Nel: Nnoitra! Nnoitra! Nnoitra! Nnoitra: Make it stop!! Kisuke: I want nothing to do with that! Nel: Nnoitra! Nnoitra! Nnoitra! Nnoitra: Kill me now! Toshiro: This is amusing... Kisuke: Isn't it. Nel: Nnoitra! Nnoitra! Nnoitra! Nnoitra: KILL...ME...NOW! [TO BE CONTINUED] |
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Oct 29, 2014 21:22:38 GMT -6
Episode #57 [MUSIC PLAYS OVER LOUD SPEAKER] Aizen: Good morning. Today's new segment is brought to by my willingness to allow this foolishness to continue. Kita: Lord Aizen, what did you do with Kisuke? Aizen: His current location is of no importance. Kita: Is he still alive? Aizen: Partially. Kita: Partially? Aizen: Shall we move on to Grimmjow for the weather? Grimmjow: I don't give a fuck about the weather! Aizen: How about Stark for our science segment? Kita: We're not even going on with this bit. Where is Kisuke? Aizen: *Begins pouting* Kita: ...Lord Aizen? Aizen: Why don't you like me? Kita: Excuse me? Aizen: *Pouts* Why...don't...you...like...me?! Kita: I...I do. I do like you, Lord Aizen. I...am so confused... Aizen: Why...don't...you...love...me?! Kita: ...We've gone from like to love. What's going on? Is this a joke? Grimm? Grimmjow: I don't know what the fuck is going on. Don't ask me. Where's that red haired chick? I'm hungry. Kita: Nnoitra? Neliel: Nnoitra is...unavailable. Kita: That...I didn't need to know that. Weren't you just four? Neliel: ...That was last episode. Kita: Fair enough. Aizen: KIIIIIITTTTTTAAAAAA! *Cries* Kita: Oh my god. I don't know what to do right now. Someone help me! Aizen: *Cries on Kita's shoulder* Why don't you love me? Kita: Um... Aizen: *Cries* ...Love...me... Kita: Hey...I have an idea, Lord Aizen. Why don't...why don't you tell me where Kisuke is. And, then you and I can talk about this whole love thing...when you're not crying...Ok? Ok. Aizen: *Nods and wipes face on sleeve* Promise? Kita: ...I...think so. Where's Kisuke? Aizen: Well...I left him. Kita: Where? Aizen: ... Kita: Where?! Aizen: ...Tell me you love me... Kita: WHERE?! Aizen: With Szayel... Kita: Oh, dear god! [TO BE CONTINUED] |
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Nov 1, 2014 19:08:44 GMT -6
Episode #58 [MUSIC PLAYS OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning! Today's news is brought to you by this goddamn fly that keeps buzzing around my face! *huffs* Ulquiorra: Relieve it from existence. Kisuke: You mean kill it? Ulquiorra: That's what I said. Kisuke: You...Ok. Ulquiorra: Is life not a burden to you? Kisuke: You...are a burden to me...*Swats at fly* Nnoitra: And, you motherufckers are burdens to me! Grimmjow: You can say that again! *Swats at fly* Nnoitra: You too, dumbass! *Stares at fly* You...too... Grimmjow: What the fuck are doing?! *Grunts at fly* Nnoitra: I'm going to kill it! *Draws scythe* Grimmjow: Cut me and I'll kill YOU! Nnoitra: What the hell are you going to do? Claw me to death?! *Fly lands on his face* Grimmjow: *Punches Nnoitra in the face and misses the fly* My bad. I was aiming for the fly. *Grins* Kisuke: Um... Nnoitra: You little fuck! *Swings at Grimmjow* Grimmjow: *Grins* Bring it, old man! Kisuke: *Watches fly get bigger* Um... Ulquiorra: Let them kill each other. *Watches Grimmjow and Nnoitra fight* It's one less thing I have to. Kisuke: But...The fl-...It's getting bigger. Kita: ...What the hell is going on? *Swats at fly* You have horseflies, Kisuke. Kisuke: That ain't a horsefly...*Hides beneath desk* ...That is not a horsefly... Kita: *Swats at fly* Then what is it?! Ulquiorra: Hm... Stark: *Shoots fly with a cero and points across the room* Nnoitra: *Sitting on Grimmjow's face* What the fuck?! Stark: We've talked to him about this. He landed on my toothbrush, again. Nnoitra: Who?! Stark: *Points to a sizzling Yammy across the room* Do it again, and I'll tell Lord Aizen that YOU'RE the one who ate his sandwich. Yammy: *Sizzles* (This was loosely based on a Bleach post about what would happen if different characters had to deal with a fly in their face) [TO BE CONTINUED] |
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Nov 1, 2014 19:10:08 GMT -6
Episode #59 [MUSIC PLAYS OF THE LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: It was a dark and gloomy night... Kita: Hm? Kisuke: I said it was a dark and gloomy night... Kita: But why? Halloween was yesterday. Kisuke: Seriously? Kita: Seriously. Kisuke: Then someone should tell Aizen to take the paint off his chest...And, to put some pants on... Kita: ...What, um...What does the paint say? Kisuke: Uh...I don't know. I try not to look at Aizen's chest...*Shrugs* Kita: Eh... Kisuke: You and uh...You and Aizen got something going on? Kita: Bite me! Kisuke: ...Just asking... Toshiro: *Clears throat* At some point, this will go back to being a news segment, yes? Kisuke: *Stares at Toshiro* Maybe. Eventually. Probably. I don't know. Toshiro: Then you will lose your most valuable anchor, sir. Kisuke: I've never lost myself before! Toshiro: *Huffs* Hm! Kita: *Looks at Kisuke* You're an ass. Kisuke: I have bigger things to do than to sit here and worry about that thawing ice cube. Kita: Oh? Like what? How to keep your hat from molding? Kisuke: No. No. I solved that problem a long time ago. I have to worry about what to do for our 60th episode! Nnoitra: Go kill yourself! Kisuke: You do wonders for my self esteem... [TO BE CONTINUED] |
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Nov 4, 2014 22:12:49 GMT -6
Episode #60 [MUSIC PLAYS OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER] Kisuke: Good morning! And, welcome to the 60th Episode of SSLN News! *Throws confetti* Today's news is brought to you by: Inoue I-Know-the-Way GPS Systems. She gets lost pretty easily, though. So I'm not sure how much this will actually help. Ichigo: Hey yo, Hat n'Clogs! Kisuke: Oh hey, Ichigo. How goes it? Ichigo: It goes. I hear your doing something special for your 60th episode. What have you you got planned? Kisuke: Well, I didn't have anything planned, to be honest with you. I was just going to go with it. Ichigo: We know how well that always goes. *Rubs head* Anyways, I've come to ask for some advice. Kisuke: Nice to know you trust me enough to ask for advice. Ichigo: To be honest with you, Kisuke...It was between you and my dad. There isn't much of a difference between the two of you. It's just...You and Yuroichi... Kisuke: ...What about us? Ichigo: Well, she's a lady... Kisuke: Yes. Yes she is. Ichigo: And...You're...you... Kisuke: Where are you going with this, Ichigo? Ichigo: Well...I want to... Kisuke: *Waves hands* I can't help you with that! Ichigo: YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M GOING ASK! Kita: What's with the yelling? Ichigo: Kisuke's being a goddamn perv! Kisuke: No more than usual! Kita: What is going on?! Ichigo: I just want some advice on getting a girl to... Kisuke: *Puts hands over ears* La la la la! Kita: Shut up, Kisuke! Ichigo...what...I'm...I'm almost afraid to ask. Nnoitra: What the hell is going on here?! Kita: Um... Grimmjow: I think the little fuck wants to know how to get fucked! Nnoitra: Ha! Good luck! Ichigo: No! That's not it at all! Kisuke: I think Nnoitra has a better chance of getting laid than you. Nnoitra: The fuck did you just say?! Kisuke: It was a compliment...sort of... Ichigo: What the hell is wrong with you people?! I don't need help...in that area. Kita: Ichigo, it's natural. Does she know...you know... Ichigo: It's not that! What the hell?! Kisuke: Ichigo...When a man loves a woman - Kita: Or a cat... Kisuke: Watch it. *Squints* When a man loves a woman...they sometimes hug and yell at each other for a while. Kita: Two minutes... Nnoitra: How the fuck do you know, woman?! Kita: I'm a grown up... Kisuke: *Grins* ...Aizen...You did...Aizen...Didn't you? Kita: ... Kisuke: You did! Nnoitra: Well ain't that some shit! Grimmjow: That's fucking nasty! I'd rather lick the toilet after Yammy takes a shit! Kisuke: Why? Why would you want to do that? Kita: ...I hate you all... Aizen: *Whispers*...I love you... [TO BE CONTINUED] |
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Post by Sousuke Aizen on Nov 4, 2014 22:22:15 GMT -6
*pokes Kita, whispers* I love you--
((LMAO! Had to do that. That one was great, but all of them are so yeah.))
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Post by Kita Miyamoto on Nov 4, 2014 22:25:29 GMT -6
*cuffs the back of your head* Smartass!
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Post by Captain Tsukiro Ashimitsu on Nov 4, 2014 22:39:24 GMT -6
RPer: *dying on the floor* (again)
Tsukiro: *steaming from the ears* WHY BRING UP THE GODDAMN FLY?!
Tsukiro: And also, I suddenly want to kill Aizen a lot less and simply condemn him to acting in OOC for entertainment for me and my squad (once I'm captain) for the rest of his miserable life. So, *grins wickedly* look forward to it.
RPer: AND THE FLY IS REBORN!!!!
Tsukiro: *facepalm* Ugh. I want a new RPer. I can't deal with this... I don't even think there's a word in existence. |
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